Tag Archives: refugees

What a tragedy (for my taxes)

Turning on the news tonight I was horrified to hear about all the killings in Sri Lanka. As I saw footage of villages burning, and corpses in the street, and people fleeing – without passports and documents – my heart sank.

“In the morning I saw bodies here and I would say today they killed 400 civilians in our area and more than 3,000 people were severely injured – 1,400 people were injured today,” he said.

Isn’t that awful?

Because I know what’s coming next:

A boat carrying 32 asylum seekers [from Sri Lanka] has been intercepted by the Navy off the Western Australia coast, the Federal Government has confirmed.

Yup – without stopping to get proper documents from the government that was killing them, these people seeking asylum and refuge from the killing (I shall call them “illegals”) will not be able to get a plane ticket and fly here. So they’re probably going to end up paying everything they can to some despicable people smuggler to come on one of those boats (like the one above) instead. What a downer! Hearing about all those deaths, hearing about all that suffering, knowing that – unless we’re lucky and they sink on the way – it’ll cause my taxpayer dollars to be spent looking after illegals at the end of it. Every boatload of Sri Lankans that comes here could conceivably cost me, personally, as a taxpayer, a few cents. (Provided that they never do anything but incur medical expenses and welfare over a very long time – which I’m going to completely unreasonably assume they will.)

What a tragedy this is (to my wallet).

NOTE: Just to be clear, yes, this post is cynically and carelessly making light of horrible events in which people have died. If you thought it was attempting to highlight the monstrous approach to humanitarian issues that looks at refugees as a “drain to society” first and as desperate human beings in need of aid second, that looks at a boatload of people fleeing a warzone and asks “why didn’t they wait in the queue (that I’m going to wrongly assume existed)?” and “why didn’t they go back (into the warzone) for passports so they could fly here like most other immigrants?”, and was making that point by contrasting the petty “what about my taxes?” and “we’ve got limited resources” responses with the seriousness of what these people are fleeing… well, you were wrong. Obviously I was just using people’s deaths as grist to my polemical mill because I’m a heartless bastard, too.

I know how to secure our borders

Having read more of the fine reasoning of ethical luminaries (and devoted humanitarians) Andrew Bolt, Piers Ackerman and Tim Blair, I have come around to their way of thinking: by being slightly less of a bastard to would-be asylum seekers, Kevin Rudd has probably caused the global increase in refugee numbers, and is consequently to blame for anything that happens to any of them on their way out here. I hope their tortured screams keep him away at night, the monster.

Clearly, any policy which coincides with an increase in boats travelling to Australia is by definition bad, and any policy which coincides with a reduction is by definition good.

The problem is, even under John Howard refugee boats still came – sure, they knew we were going to imprison them indefinitely (unless they agreed to go away again) while we took our sweet time “processing” them; but for some of them that wasn’t sufficient disincentive to try escaping oppression.

The solution: we need to be nastier. We need to be so horrible that no-one in their right mind would want to come here. We need to shed this image of us being in any way “humane” or “compassionate” people, and replace it with a world-wide understanding that we’re worse than any regime from which they might be fleeing.

Tell you what – if we took every refugee we caught and fed them to crocodiles, they’d soon stop coming. If we ran over them with steamrollers and set them on fire, they’d soon stop coming. If we slowly dismembered them whilst making them listen to “Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport” played on bagpipes, they’d soon stop coming. If we treated them like the terror suspects they really are and subjected them to insects placed in a confinement box, they’d soon stop coming.

A “balance”? Who wants balance and reasonableness in immigration policy?

Any approach other than absolute and unimaginable viciousness is a SOP TO PEOPLE SMUGGLERS and irresponsible. Australians want secure borders. And only my deranged plan of indefensible horror will truly achieve it.

Who’s with me? Andrew? Tim? Piers? Please let your readers know that at least someone out there has the answers for which they’re so desperately looking.

Some suggestions from Hun readers:


Or, better yet, have the Navy blow them up first!



Yeah! Let’s shoot the defenceless people on boats begging us for asylum!

That’ll certainly end that inconvenient reputation of Australians not being monsters.

My political opponents to blame for tragic boat deaths

What seems to be being missed in all the commentary regarding the refugees tragically killed when their boat exploded off north-west Australia on Thursday, is how it proves me right on everything I’ve ever said about the subject.

Remember when I revealed that the system in place for dealing with asylum seekers and other refugees was not working 100% smoothly and proffered my own suggestions as to what we should do to solve this incredibly simple and straightforward issue? Which weren’t adopted exactly as I said they should be? And then this horrible loss of life followed?

I don’t like to say I told you so, but the conclusion is unavoidable: these people’s deaths prove me right and my political opponents wrong.

Devastatingly, horribly wrong, and people have died.

But that’s not the important thing right now. It’s about the future, not the past. It’s not about blaming my political opponents for being so foolish as to fail to see that I was right. They’ll have to live with what they’ve done. We have to be more constructive than that.

What’s important is using this terrible, terrible incident to make sure that no-one makes the mistake of not listening to me again. I beg you – don’t let these people have died in vain!

Erring on the side of we don’t really care

The headline story in today’s printed version of The Age is an appalling, shocking tale:

He said the Immigration Department had put pressure on asylum seekers to return to Afghanistan when they were denied refugee status, telling them NATO was bringing peace to the country and they would never be let into Australia…

One of the men, Asmatullah Mohammadi, said 11 asylum seekers on Nauru had been killed by the Taliban after they were sent back to Afghanistan.

The director of social justice agency the Edmund Rice Centre, Phil Glendenning, who spent six years travelling the world to investigate the fate of rejected asylum seekers, said he believed 11 deaths was a conservative figure…

TOUR Gul travelled halfway around the world to escape Afghanistan. An enemy of the Taliban, he was convinced he was a target. But in 2002, Australia rejected his plea for asylum and sent him home to his death.

“He was worried. He knew the Taliban would kill him but the government refused him,” said his friend, Salem Haideri.

It has already disappeared off the main page of theage.com.au.

On the plus side, we kept the refugee numbers down that year.