Category Archives: Media

Stephen Conroy promises the Daily Telegraph will still be here tomorrow morning and we totally believe him

Thank God for Stephen Conroy’s glorious new not in any way tyrannical despot-like media reforms!

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It is totally not true that right after the Daily Telegraph ran a front page this morning with the CRAZY assertion that Conroy’s announcement put him up there with the worst and bloodiest tyrants in history, Christopher Dore was taken out and shot, and the paper’s political journos had their homes burned down. None of the staff at the Daily Telegraph have been disappeared or you would have read about it in one of the other newspapers, and the other newspapers are totally not cowed by Conroy’s enforcers in their smashing uniforms so they definitely would have told us about all the disappearances at News Ltd that definitely did not happen. Gemma Jones was not brutally tortured and when she appears in public today her arm will totally not be in a sling because government freedom agents kidnapped her at traffic lights and smashed her elbow with a hammer.

In short: the Daily Telegraph was wrong to point out how much like a brutal despot is Stephen Conroy, and the bloody vengeance that he has already wreaked on them totally didn’t happen and I’m sure they will be free to publish critical stories about the government tomorrow.