Bob Cratchit was a whinging lefty product of our something-for-nothing culture

After the UK Daily Mail’s war on people who, by criticising certain policies, therefore “hate Britain”, here’s The Now Show on BBC Radio 4 doing Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, as it would be retold by the Daily Mail:

Marley was dead – to begin with. Although he may have been faking, to con the system out of benefits. Mr Scrooge rightly opposed the European Working Time directive, which forced him to give unpaid leave at Christmas to his slacker staff. Bob Cratchit was a whinging lefty product of our something-for-nothing culture, with eight children in his 150,000 pound end-of-terrace hovel in London’s swanky suburbs, including so-called Tiny Tim, whose alleged disability had been reclassified by ATOSS and he had been deemed fit for work. One night Scrooge was visited by three so-called ghosts, who convinced Scrooge that his free-market philosophy was in fact causing terrible poverty and inequality, because the ghosts hated Britain and everything it stood for. These spineless spectres talked the honest Mr Scrooge into backing down and accepting their socialist prescription of increased spending and free turkey. Mr Scrooge ran through the streets shouting his nauseating lefty propaganda as the snow fell, thus proving there is no global warming, and wishing everyone a happy Christmas, even though everyone knows that thanks to the European Union we have to call it Winterval or we will be fined by Brussells.

And the moral of this story is, Charles Dickens hated Britain.

The local equivalent is pretty obvious.