WHERE’S MY GAY HEROIN, BOB?

Well, we’ve survived our first day of the Greens having CONTROL of the Senate with their nine Senators out of seventy-six, members of parliament so powerful that they can force Labor and the Liberals to vote against each other in order to make the Greens’ votes the deciding ones. If the Herald Sun has informed me accurately – and I can’t see why they would exaggerate or misrepresent anything about the Greens – then the Greens are now running the country, and Bob Brown is Prime Minister in all but name.

And yet… where’s my gay heroin? Where’s my free bicycle? Why am I not compulsorily married to a tree yet? Is the refugee invasion planned for next week? When does the electricity get shut off? If I die tonight, will I have to pay death duties on my five million dollar estate? (Okay, I know I don’t have one of those, but I’m sure most other Herald Sun readers do, which is why it angers them so much.)

If the Greens are finally in control, then why haven’t they passed any of the diabolical legislation the Herald Sun and the Australian keep warning me about?

There’s only one possible explanation: they’re sellouts and we should never vote for them again. They promised us ruin and destruction and poverty and depravity and forcibly-injected heroin, and they were TOO SOFT to follow through.

Well, they’re finished now. Why would Greens voters continue to support a party that votes consistently in accordance with our views in Parliament, in favour of legislation we support, against legislation we don’t support, and which negotiates as effectively as its numbers allow to bring the parliament back towards the left, towards more socially humane policies, as they always told us they would? Why would we do that, if when the party doesn’t win control of Parliament in its own right, it can’t rule Parliament in its own right?

No, News Ltd has been correct this whole time. Either the Greens are going to ruin the country with EXTREME policies, in which case they must be destroyed; or they’re too weak ruin the country with EXTREME policies, in which case they must be destroyed.

I call on Rupert Murdoch to give us another election. He has that power, right?

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58 responses to “WHERE’S MY GAY HEROIN, BOB?

  1. The Greens actually only control the Senate when the ALP and LP are not in agreement. I wonder if (or perhaps how often) we’ll see the two parties gang up on the Greens?

  2. If you thought that we have seen the Australian’s war against the Greens before you haven’t seen anything yet. The funny thing is the shriller the newspapers talk about the Greens the greater the Greens support will grow as people realise that the newspapers are the alarmists.

    It’ll be even funnier seeing papers like the Herald and Tele (the ‘voice of the people’) ranting against the Greens for trying to make the economy more equitable. These are the papers that constantly harp on about the “rising cost of living” and those “poor sods on only $150k a year”. Pretty soon people will start seeing that the only voice those editorials represent are the wealthy business owners of the media. The editors forget that we aren’t the USA. Australians are largely a social democratic country, you can’t just say the word “tax” and expect people to vote Liberal. You have to feed them misinformation so they form a warped view of the true nature of events to convince them to vote Liberal.

  3. uniquerhys

    In the short term I predict that the Liberals and their media enablers will oppose everything and anything to force Labor to have to use the Greens to pass legislation, to try to reinforce the message that the Greens are in control. Maybe even attempt to Democrat the Greens by pointing at some obscure provision that is not fully-Greens compatible and claim they sold out.

    This will last until the next round of media consolidation talks, at which point Murdoch will suddenly discover that ticking off the Greens is not a very good way to do business in Australia. Given that Bob Brown was making noises about foreign ownership the other day, I’m expected the Take Murdoch’s Empire Apart Senate Enquiry to be announced shortly.

  4. I’m waiting with baited breath to see what happens for News Ltd., the parties on the Right, etc. although, it seems one can’t win the debate.
    I do wonder why the expectation is for Greens’ policy to be implemented on day one of their senate majority?

  5. Ah yes, their “senate majority”. I wonder how many News Ltd readers genuinely believe that’s what the Greens have?

  6. narcoticmusing

    “Take Murdoch’s Empire Apart Senate Enquiry” TMEASE

    You’ll need a better acronym for that to have a chance.

    Jeremy – question, do I have to be gay to get the gay heroin or is that just part of the Greens agenda to have gays take over the country?

    {end sarcasm}

  7. A better acronym might be….
    EXpose Corrupt Regime Encompassing Media Empires Neoliberal Tendancies….

  8. narcoticmusing

    Fourth-Estate Unconscionable Conduct and Earnings from Misrepresentation

  9. I’m very disappointed that heroine injecting rooms haven’t opened outside every school around Australia. I thought the Greens would’ve got that through by now. Get your act together hippies! :p

  10. I don;t know why we bother with governments and democracy at all.

    Business leaders and billionaires mining magnates could do a far better job of running the country. if we closed parliament and gave them control we could save them having to advertise to get their own way.

    Much better than giving every stupid person a vote

  11. Day 4 of the new regime and still no jackboots. I was promised jackboots darn it!

  12. narcoticmusing

    At the very least, we could’ve expected all companies to now have to honour some sort of pledge to Greenpeace…

  13. Splatterbottom

    It is always nice to have a diversity of views in the media. The really interesting thing is the shrieking outrage of thin-skinned megalomaniacs when some elements of the media retract their tongues from the great green anus that is shitting all over the citizenry.

    I would have thought that Green dreams of one world government, the destruction of the coal industry, and the live animal export industry and the economy in general might warrant some scrutiny. A free press is essential for

  14. mondo rock

    The Greens dream of “the destruction of . . . the economy in general”?

    That wouldn’t be a strawman would it SB?

  15. Splatterbottom

    How about this then Mondo: the Greens’ economic policies are likely to destroy the economy. They will lead to massive unemployment, widespread poverty and significant social instability. With noted economic theorists like Bandt and Rhiannon in the mix it was always going to be thus.

  16. mondo rock

    Well, you’ve successfully removed the strawman at least.

  17. phyllis5tein

    @Annie Humphries, with the end of everything nigh, maybe the last thing we’ll have is language. “Baited” breath is a little bit fishy. “Bated breath” is with what I wait for the “Grammar-Nazi” riposte.

  18. narcoticmusing

    Because Abbott and Hockey are such respected economic theorists they present no threat compared to the Greens… the fact that it is LibCo who have created the surplus is required to live! delusion demonstrates their lack of credibility. That combined with their ‘economic policy should contradict and fight against the reserve bank’ style of decisions makes them at least as concerning as the Greens, particularly as LibCo are having more influence on economic policy through scare campaigns than the Greens are.

  19. narcoticmusing

    @phuyllis5tein here here (sic)

    I await your rubuke sir. 😉

  20. Splatterbottom

    Cruel, Clever Cats have baited breath:

    “Sally, having swallowed cheese
    Directs down holes the scented breeze
    Enticing thus with baited breath
    Nice mice to an untimely death.”

  21. uniquerhys

    Yes SB, because “drown the government in the bathtub”, “tax cuts for the rich as economic stimulus”, and other forms of “trickle-down” right-wing libertarian economics never lead to massive unemployment or widespread poverty. Except in the US right now this instant, of course.

  22. The really interesting thing is the shrieking outrage of thin-skinned megalomaniacs when some elements of the media retract their tongues from the great green anus that is shitting all over the citizenry.

    Another insight into the bizarro alternate reality in which you live.

    You can’t expect all the media to conform to your anti-Greens prejudice, SB. Be satisfied that at least most of it does e.g. News Ltd.

  23. Splatterbottom

    Exactly my point Buns. It is healthy that there are a range of views expressed in the media. The problem starts when poor old Bob can’t remember what he wrote in 2007 and goes on anti-Murdoch tirade. It gives added poignancy to his quest for laws that allow one to die with dignity.

    Narcotic under the Libs we had a surplus and money in the bank. Now the Greens/Labor government is pissing money against the wall with gay abandon and inventing ever more insidious taxes to pay for their destructive profligacy. It’s a leftist wet dream and we are all getting creamed.

  24. narcoticmusing

    It is not ‘leftist’ to be ‘pissing money against the wall’. It is shitty governance. I don’t debate that this government is filled with fools, but I deride your association of the left with it.

  25. Splatterbottom

    Narcotic, as a rule leftists are more prone to public spending than non-leftists. There is always some pie-in-the-sky dream they have to solve some injustice somewhere. Not only does this often not produce the intended effects, it has the opposite effect and other bad outcomes.

    Fortunately we have moved on from the bad old days when entire economies were run by the state. We know exactly where that led – poverty, misery and death for tens of millions of people.

    Now don’t get me wrong on this. Government spending has produced great outcomes particularly in earlier times when there were no public schools or hospitals and the world was a harsher nastier place. What we need is balance, not ever greater spending.

    There needs to be as much focus on creating wealth as on spending it. On the “progressive” side there seems to be little understanding of this as an issue or what effect their policies might have on this.

    The goal should always be to encourage prosperity and to encourage people to work to support themselves.

  26. oops! got a couple of errors in my comments ‘baited breath’ should read bated breath – thanks for the correction.

    senate majority should read balance of power in the senate.

    I’ve enjoyed the conversation

  27. Narcoticmusing,

    Didn’t you see the brilliant economic management under the US Republicans ala GFC?

    And everyone knows that the benchmark for sound economic management in a time of a booming economy is to say ‘surplus!’, rather than have a plan to ensure the country has the infrastructure it will need in the next 10-20 years in light of little trifles such as an ageing population.

    Some might even go so far as to suggest that in light of luch looming challenges, it would have been economically prudent to ensure a greater return on our common wealth (oh, minerals for instance) from the mostly foreign owned enterprises currently profiting massively from their exploitation, and further, that pissing away 60 or so billion dollars from such a source, in favour of spinelessly kow-towing to vested interests based on zombie economic ideology might represent a piece of barking mad economic stupidity rendering those advocating such, as totally unfit to be allowed near the levers of the economy.

    Just sayin.

  28. uniquerhys

    “as a rule leftists are more prone to public spending than non-leftists.”

    I guess that explains the insanely huge US defence budget … oh wait.

  29. @uniquerhys

    It also explains the Bush tax cuts…

    No… wait, wrong again.

  30. (sings lustily)
    GRUN, GRUN, UBER ALLES…
    Uber alles in der Welt,
    Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze
    Bruderlich zusammenhalt…

    SB
    The really interesting thing is the shrieking outrage of thin-skinned megalomaniacs…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

    …retract their tongues from the great green anus…

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freudian_slip
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

    Bird 1, Bird 2… Meet Stone… (thud)

    …to destroy the economy. They will lead to massive unemployment…

    200,000 jobs retail jobs (in a sector that employs about 48,000) and anything from 38,000 to 200,000 (according to the coal lobbys Herald Sun) jobs in a sector that employs something like 8,000.

    If that’s not total destruction, I don’t know what is.

    Mondo
    Well, you’ve successfully removed the strawman at least.

    From where exactly?
    (looks for a flashlight)

    NOW HURRY UP AND GIVE ME MY GAY COMMUNIST MUSLAMIC ONE-WORLD-GOVERNMENT FASCIST DEATH-PANEL HEROIN NOW!!!!!!!!!!
    (starts stomping loudly)

  31. narcoticmusing

    SB, I would argue that left and right wing economics is neither right nor wrong. They are just the apple and PC. Both really trying to do similar things, both offering the same basic package with some minor tweaks. Both do it in round about the same way (again some minor differences). Both have pros but both have so many overwhelming cons that you can easily pull the other down as bullshit.

  32. narcoticmusing

    Narcotic, as a rule leftists are more prone to public spending than non-leftists. There is always some pie-in-the-sky dream they have to solve some injustice somewhere.

    As opposed to invading a soverign nations? Even if you believe the US’ bullshit cover story, let’s assume it is true, is that not a ‘pie in the sky’ dream to solve some injustice somewhere? I’m pretty sure that invasion costs more than health care ever could.

  33. Splatterbottom

    There is no doubt that non-leftist governments can be profligate. The correct comparison is with those administrations that demonstrate some degree of economic rectitude. These are rarely, if ever, of a leftist bent.

    Lykurgus no doubt you will rejoice when the recently resurrected Jerry Brown finally makes it to the Oval Office.

  34. Venezuelas public debt was 35% of GDP in 1997 – it’s now 15%.
    Inflation ran at 50% then – it’s now 30%.
    Unemployment 8% now – half the 1997 figure.*

    And all under the Bolivarian reforms.

    It’s amazing how cheaply you can teach 95% of your population to read.

    *(The CIA World Factbook is the only English-speaking source that isn’t full of lies (well, not FULL)
    I won’t ask if you can read Spanish)

    recently resurrected Jerry Brown

    You admit listening to an emo band that keeps trying to get itself compared to the Sex Pistols?

  35. narcoticmusing

    So Keating following the dollar was just a left wing conspiracy? muahahahaha

  36. Splatterbottom

    Lykurgus Venezuela’s economy is in decline. They don’t even have a decent electricity supply. Even Chomsky has turned on his old mate.

    Narcotic the Hawke-Keating government was my sort of leftism in that it was more economically conservative than the Fraser government it rightly replaced.

  37. Splatterbottom

    Lykurgus you have crossed a line with that emo comment. Insulting my politics is is one thing, but insulting my taste in music is deeply offensive.

  38. narcoticmusing

    I am now having some sort of image of an emo-SB… awww so much angst.

    😉

  39. “You admit listening to an emo band that keeps trying to get itself compared to the Sex Pistols?”

    Hmmm, I find myself on SBs side… DK aren’t an ’emo’ band, like Jello says himself, they were a new wave band… I love the Pistols and DK I’ve never heard DK wanting to be compared to the Pistols, there’s no comparison, one an English Punk Rock band with heavy 50’s rock ‘n’ Roll styled influences and another a political new wave band with overtones of country & Western..

    Anyway, what/who are an emo band?

  40. Splatterbottom

    Unkind, Narcotic. There are only two kinds of music ‘rock’ and ‘roll’.

  41. narcoticmusing

    Anyway, what/who are an emo band?
    My limited understanding of this is a band that emulates itself on that idiotic dance and look by Peter Parker in Spiderman 3 thus leading to the only possible end point – self harm.

  42. or the musical equivalent of “cunt” losing its epithet value entirely.

    SB
    Venezuela’s economy is in decline

    Yes, thank you for proving yet again that any dog can return to his own vomit, but I’ll just let your latest “up is down” splurk speak for itself.

    bobbyboyakarobj
    DK aren’t an ‘emo’ band

    Probably shouldn’t have followed that with “what is an emo band?”

    narcotic
    I am now having some sort of image of an emo-SB… awww so much angst.
    😉

    Let me guess… his admission to reading Chomsky?
    Can’t imagine what else it might be.

  43. “Probably shouldn’t have followed that with “what is an emo band?”

    Really? Well let me put it this way, I’m not too sure what or who emo bands are but I’m pretty damned sure that Dead Kennedys aren’t. 😉 I’m aware that emo is a term that arose in 90’s, DK are from the seventies/eighties. I’m still interested in some examples because I’m wondering how inappropriate the description is.. Thank god for Google, doesn’t look like I’ll get any answers here 😉

  44. I knew there was a reason i like you SB!

    But being a hateful rightard, don’t JB’s “GreenIslamoNaziLeftist” politics offend your sensibilities? 😉

    Lykurgus, not only were the DK are NOT EVEN CLOSE to emo, but their music kicks the living shit out of the sex pistols!

    I never saw the DK live (too young!) but i saw Jello do a spoken word show in about ’04-’05 at the Adelaide City Union Hall, which was great fun.

  45. “But being a hateful rightard, don’t JB’s “GreenIslamoNaziLeftist” politics offend your sensibilities? ”

    I would have thought that anybody can like DK, but I can’t see SB agreeing with much of what Jello sings about. On the subject of Pistols v DK, personally I don’t see enough similarities to make a comparison, I love them both I reckon I prefer DK (I agree with so much of what Jello says) but I’d also contend that ‘Never Mind the Bollocks’ is a great album that has withstood the test of time…

  46. Splatterbottom

    Duncan, I respect the good Lord’s decision to imbue the strangest people with musical talent. I realised this early on when I decided it was acceptable to listen to Bach notwithstanding that he was a protestant and thus a heretic.

    Music is a wonderful thing for understanding other people. It transcends mere words and allows more direct emotional expression and communication.

    Bobby-Boy I’d much prefer a heartfelt rant from Jello, or Billy Bragg for that matter, than a lecture from some superstar prat like Sting. Sometimes the audience has good cause to tell an artist to “shut up and play yer guitar”.

  47. duncan1978

    “I would have thought that anybody can like DK”

    Agreed. As a youngster I even knew some skinheads who were into the dk’s, despite their politics. I was just attempting to stir up SB 🙂

    Yeah, i own ”never mind the bollocks’ too and give it a spin now and then, but the sex pistols are not in the same league as DK’s, imo.

    Ever get into Black Flag/Henry Rollins, Rob?.. SB?

  48. duncan, yeah, don’t mind Rollins but I prefer Biafra.. I’m mainly into the old school English (Irish/welsh/Scottish) Punk Rock, The Damned being my all time favourite rock ‘n’ roll band, I’m also a bit of a Stranglers and Ruts fan (Clash, SLF, Pistols)…. It’s the music of my youth. Though the music isn’t much cop I love Crass (and discharge)

  49. Splatterbottom

    I’ve got one comment in moderation.

    Duncan “Damaged’ is one of the great albums. I saw Rollins fronting the Hard-ons in the early 90s. Of the American hardcore bands Fugazi is at the top of the pile for me.

    I file my CDs by genre. In the rock category there is pre-punk, punk and post-punk because punk was that important. It gave rock and roll the kick up the arse it desperately needed. This view is probably down to my reading Greil Marcus’s ‘Lipstick Traces’ which is a great book. It has a good history of 20th century anarchist, situationist and lettrist movements. I see UK punk as different to US hardcore.

    I’d also like to put in a good word for the Gang of Four, and John Zorn’s band ‘Naked City’.

  50. narcoticmusing

    Gah, that list of emo bands really sucks. No wonder they are so full of angst, they must be bored to tears with that shite.

  51. “Bobby-Boy I’d much prefer a heartfelt rant from Jello, or Billy Bragg for that matter, than a lecture from some superstar prat like Sting. “

    ….or Bono.

    “Sometimes the audience has good cause to tell an artist to “shut up and play yer guitar”.”

    Oh yeah, caught SLF a couple of years ago, Jake Burns wanted to tell a story about every song… We don’t go to gigs to listens to stories about songs…

  52. SB
    Music is a wonderful thing for understanding other people.
    Yes, the comments from DK fans here have been VERY revealing.

    but I’M STILL WAITING FOR MY GAY-LLAMA-MARRYING COMMUNIST WARMENIST ONE-WORLD-GOVERNMENT HEROIN!!!!

  53. jordanrastrick

    Pah, so passe. Its all about the crypo-fascists-anarchist bicurious crystal meth. That, er, munches on museli, or whatever.

  54. Granola, jordan. But yes.

  55. Splatterbottom

    Lykurgus the comments of fans are a completely different matter from the emotions conveyed by the music. And sometimes the music just says “I’m self-obsessed ponce with a perm and a poodle. Please worship me.”

    Narcotic its about time you nominated some faves. Which band did it for you in your youth and young manhood? Which one was playing when you laid on the lounge room floor with a speaker beside each ear? Which song was “our song”, the one that always ignites memories of your first love as soon as you hear the first two notes?

  56. narcoticmusing

    Hmm… my “our song” … The Very Thought of You – Billie Holiday

    Which band did it for me? Rollins, DK – very common. Also, Danzig, Ramstein, Pixies, Jane’s Addiction, Nine Inch Nails, Pink Floyd, Rage Against the Machine… list is too long… I love most music (except pop and hip hop)… What was playing when I laid on the lounge floor? What gets played so much I worry about burning a hole in the disc? Chopin, Chet Baker, Billie Holiday, Thomas Newman, James Newton Howard

    Saw Rammstein in Lyon a couple years back – best freaking act ever.

  57. narcoticmusing

    To put this all back on topic, who needs gay heroin when I have Chopin?

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