The Reassurobuddy 3000

A new product announced in last week’s Bugle:

The Shankhound Reassurobuddy 3000, the pocket-sized friend that never disagrees with you, programmable to fully back up your world view and personal opinions. The Reassurobuddy 3000 will be a pal to you whenever your real friends think you’re being an unreasonable tool, an offensive prick or a general pain in the arse. Set the Reassurobuddy 3000 to customisable settings how you want. Whether you’re hard right wing or blindly communist, cold-bloodedly practical or wishy-washily idealistic, a tolerant and friendly philanthrope or a short-tempered bigot, the Reassurobuddy will back you up with generally supportive comments like “Damn right mate”, “Couldn’t have put it better myself” and “Yeeaaahh.”

As well as more specific internet-generated political and personal remarks, insults and out of context bendy Micro-Facts (TM) about whatever you are talking about.

Also, new for the Reassurobuddy 3000, the Over The Top button, to make the Reassurobuddy go way further and more extreme than you. Not only can it make you think you’re right about something, but now with the OTT facility, it can make you think you’re actually being quite reasonable about it by comparison.

The Reassurobuddy 3000, because you’re not always right, but you always want someone to tell you that you are.

I can’t think of anyone who’s been hanging out for one of those.


5 responses to “The Reassurobuddy 3000

  1. I thought that’s what mirrors were for.

    I’ll never be able to keep up with all this newfangled technology.

  2. I have it on good authority a certain blogger has ordered a dozen of said devices. Apparently he will be sending six of them to this very blog.

  3. Been beta-testing it yourself, Jeremy? 😉

  4. Good God that’s so old-school. Most of the inhabitants in the Boltiverse have the new improved discreet implant version that speaks directly into their minds. And it’s got Bluetooth so ones implant can sync with all the nearby Boltiversians.

  5. narcoticmusing

    I hear the Beck-ista firmware upgrade accuses anyone who disagrees with you of being a Nazi.

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