The Debate – a clear win for The Candidate I Support

The Great Debate was a close-run contest, but in the end The Candidate I Support definitely defeated The Candidate I Dislike. They spoke to The Issues, where The Candidate I Support just waffled. There was some warmth there, some understanding, some wit – I liked the amusing crack The Candidate I Support made about The Candidate I Dislike: respectful but highlighting why it would be terrible for the country if The Candidate I Dislike were to win on August 21. The Candidate I Support looked serious, and spoke directly and plainly – where The Candidate I Dislike seemed rattled, scripted, unreal.

Both candidates understood what’s most important in this election: hysterical paranoia about the tiny number of people arriving by boat seeking refuge from persecution. I like the way The Candidate I Support is determined to stop this. The Candidate I Support also reassured me that the view I’d already adopted about the replacement of Kevin Rudd is entirely correct, which was nice. Where The Candidate I Dislike avoided answering the journalists’ questions, instead delivering lame talking points that wouldn’t persuade anyone, The Candidate I Support tackled them Prime Ministerially and gave me excellent reasons to vote for them.

In summary, I’m sure that The Debate helped many people who were thinking about voting for The Candidate I Dislike see through their shamefully negative and dishonest campaign, and converted them to our side.

Yup, a clear win for The Candidate I Support.

PS Wasn’t it lovely to watch Adam Liaw win Masterchef? An even more inspiring win than The Candidate I Support’s.

10 responses to “The Debate – a clear win for The Candidate I Support

  1. The “debate” last night was a microcosm of the whole election campaign. Vapid, vacuous, meaningless, boring, uninspired, soundbyte-driven crap. People say it’s an indictment on this country that what is in theory the most important political event of the year couldn’t compete with a cooking show, but I think it’s really an indictment of the infantile nature of politics (especially electoral politics) at the moment. If they were on at the same time, I would have watched MasterChef too. It was an absolute joke.

  2. Obviously you’re disappointed because The Candidate I Support thrashed The Candidate You Support.

  3. Splatterbottom

    The Candidate I Support was not allowed to join the debate, presumably in the interests of democracy. Look where that approach got the major parties in the UK.

  4. Yeh, Masterchef was great.

  5. Arggggghhhhhhh.

    Its clear whats happened here. There’s been an alien invasion, and the pod people have taken over.

    The campaign managers must be working overtime at the moment, cos I’ll bet if Abbott or Gillard meet a real person on the hustings it’ll be all pointing and weird high pitched keening…

  6. Gillard and Abbott are quite good at whipping up their own croquembouche… diners might be unaware of the “cosmopolitan” layer though

  7. The best point I heard made was when The Candidate I Dislike The Most – suggested that if The Candidate I Don’t Dislike As Much won the election, she would do a deal with The Candidate I Support and implement a carbon tax. Unfortunately I don’t believe this.

  8. Nicely put, panzuriel.

  9. I’m with Phill, let’s talk about Masterchef.

    It was such an exciting Final.

    As poor old Callum was struggling with his granita the wife and I both wondered why he didn’t take to it with a cheese grater.
    Works everytime for me!

    As soon as Adam started melting his tuile from the center I knew it would crack down the middle.
    I was yelling at the TV, “Work from the edges inward!!”.
    Happily he figured it out on the third one.

    Oy! Such excitement!


  10. Jeremy, this the best post you’ve done in ages. 🙂

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