It’s what Jesus would’ve wanted

If I remember my New Testament properly – and I’ve got inspirational gospel verses tattooed on the inside of my eyelids – I have no doubt whatsoever that Jesus would’ve been a big fan of putting bible references on guns and then going overseas and shooting unbelievers with them. He’d strongly endorse the US military being sent off with what its commanders refer to as “spiritually transformed firearms of Jesus Christ.”

And the LORD said unto them “PUT YOUR BLOODY HANDS UP! NOW! And they did comply.”

As Trijicon, the company responsible for this contradiction of “General Order Number One” of the Middle Eastern campaigns, says

The inscriptions “have always been there” and… there was nothing wrong or illegal with adding them.

Defending the “secret bible codes,” [Trijicon director of sales and marketing Tom] Munson said the issue was being raised by a group that is “not Christian.”

And why should people who are “not Christian” have any say in the matter?

Do we have to point our guns at all of them before they’ll get the message?

UPDATE: Stephen Colbert suggests adding the Bible-grenade and the Promised Land-mine.

UPDATE 22/1: It’s now a local issue, with the ADF looking into ways to rectify the problem with sights being used by Australian soldiers.

What an expensive mess those arrogant fundamentalists at Trijicon have created.

24 responses to “It’s what Jesus would’ve wanted

  1. [And the LORD said unto them “PUT YOUR BLOODY HANDS UP! NOW! And they did comply.”]

    Bullshit, he said unto them, “shoot first ask questions later, if thy is innocent thy will just be collateral damage and thus forgiven by thee!”

    Yes pedants, I may have misused my ‘thys’ and ‘thees’

  2. “thou”s, actually.

  3. This would be a *facepalm* were it not a massive *headdesk* already.

  4. thou is a pedant

    or is that

    thou are a pedant


  5. “Thou art” a pedant.


  6. LOL – It’s been a long time since I listened to a sermon or read the NT. That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it..

  7. Have you checked out the comments on the ABC story?

    “It may give them a little comfort to know that they have a little of the In God We Trust with them”

    Or it might make them more uneasy that their sacrifice is being used by religious nuts to further their holy war.

  8. “Ih8christians—Then go live in a third world country and practice your obviously cheerful beliefs. :0) Oh and when rapture takes place don’t trying hitching a ride at the last minute.”

    I don’t think I want to read any more comments… Did you see the link I put on PP yesterday about some Christian group in the US sending solar powered audio bibles to Haiti?

  9. I’ve been more disturbed by the US taking control of the airport and turning aid from other countries away.

  10. Just like the Wehrmacht going into battle with “Gott mit uns” on their belt buckles.

    Seriously though, wouldn’t a better choice have been the quote used by Jules in Pulp Fiction? Much more badass.

  11. Yeah, I think everyone’s been surprised Ezekiel wasn’t there.

  12. i wonder whats written on the 10,000 nuclear bombs on 30 second standby… probably ezekiel like you said, they’d save the really nasty bible bits for WMD

  13. “i wonder whats written on the 10,000 nuclear bombs on 30 second standby…”

    Have a nice day!

  14. Surely there should be a reference to smiting one’s enemies.

    Gotta love a good smote.

  15. ““i wonder whats written on the 10,000 nuclear bombs on 30 second standby…”

    Didn’t the one at the end of Dr. Strangelove have a smiley face painted on it ?

  16. Northern Exposure

    Smote ’em if you got ’em!

  17. Northern Exposure- a reference p’raps to the Aussie film of the (very similar) same name?

    A classic, from (a hazy) memory.

  18. While we’re in pedant mode, Jeremy, I think you mean “verses” rather than “versus”.

  19. I did! Oops. Embarrassment.

  20. I’m trying to figure out why the Hun version puts the word “biblical” in quotes.

  21. Northern Exposure

    Maybe they’re saying the bible and it’s biblicality isnt enough to be known as biblical?

    Aparently when you add ality to something, it becomes the degree of something. The veriticalty of his leap, was assisted by the shoeality of his foot. The horizontality of his goalkeeping ability was worthy of noteality because the armspanality was wide, allowing a larger stopality area.

  22. Northern Exposure

    And the light of life shall be theirs…eat hot lead Haji!

  23. Northern Exposure

    And the light of life shall be theirs…eat hot lead Haji!

    How brilliant is it that The Colbert Report is now free for the whole country? TAKE THAT HULU YOU scrupulous see you next tuesdays.

  24. Some fundo connected the original Matrix movie with Jesus tonight. I was impressed with his improvisation – he wasn’t impressed with me repeatedly drunkenly saying that the 2 sequels sucked. 😛

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