Well, I’m convinced. Here’s why:
- Governments can always be defeated by attacking a policy of theirs as “a great big new tax”.
- Australian electorates like aggressive leaders from the section of their party furthest from the centre.
- Tony’s previous contradictory statements can easily be explained away as “I was doing my best to support the then leader, and that’s what frontbenchers have to do”.
- There aren’t really that many women who vote, are there?
- The Australian electorate is “at large essentially conservative“, and only voted for Rudd because his party starts with the same letter as Tony’s and they got confused.
- The other reason the Liberals lost in 2007 was because some voters didn’t like the word “WorkChoices”. Tony will call it something else.
- Staccato delivery sounds considered. And. Sincere.
- Kevin Rudd is going to murder and eat a puppy whilst mooning the camera on the last 7.30 Report before the next election.
Also, because it’s the worst thing I can imagine happening to Australia and I’m a pessimist.
UPDATE: The Abbot-Change Deniers are already descending to damn anyone who doesn’t agree with the Abbot-Change theory. I wish it wasn’t true – I’d dearly like them to be right – but the science is in. The list above speaks for itself.
UPDATE #2: Also, Tony has the support of Catch The Fire. That’s got to be worth at least an extra 20% chance of a miraculous win.