Murphy’s car

New car last week.

Within one day – chip on windscreen.
Within one week – scratch in carpark.

Neither under my control, neither of which would’ve mattered in the old car.

Does the universe think lefties only deserve to drive beaten-up crap heaps or something?

44 responses to “Murphy’s car

  1. For the record – neither was my fault, either.

  2. No, it was Max.

  3. Yeah, natch 🙂

  4. That would really piss me off.

  5. I have lots of cat claw scratches on my car bonnet.

    Obviously my car needs to be covered in bark.

  6. Shit, you got a car?

  7. So what sort of car did you buy Jeremy? Surely not a Prius?
    Come on don’t be coy about it.

  8. This one. It’s powered by love and mung beans.

  9. It is actually your fault, Jeremy – if only for thinking that you won’t have some mindless twat scratch your car in a carpark…!

    Always been keen on something fancy, but I don’t know that I could bring myself to actually drive it everyday with that sort of risk. 😦

  10. You coyness about exactly what sort of car you have bought is rather strange Jeremy, now it has to be because it is either a Prius as I have suggested or because it is something far to showy ( like a BMW) for a professed “man of the people” like yourself.
    Come on fess up to the truth, after all confession is good for the soul…

  11. Alright, you got me. It’s a BMW hybrid. It looks like this.

  12. I had the same experience when I bought my first and only new car in 2002. Within a week of taking delivery, someone had staved in the tailgate in the 2 minutes I had it parked in the supermarket car park. Within the first month, someone else had thoughtfully run a key the full length up the side when I was down in Melbourne visiting my parents who these days live in Collingwood (yes, the stereotypes held true). There have been no incidents whatever for the last 4 years, now that it’s looking dated. I sympathise, Jeremy.

  13. Iain, it is none of those. I wouldn’t buy a BMW, and I sure as hell wouldn’t buy a Prius.

    Once again your legendary logic fails you.

  14. Well why are you and Jeremy playing silly buggers about what you have bought?

  15. Maybe because it’s none of your business, you creepy dingbat.

  16. Why does it matter, iain?

  17. Keri
    The sort of car that you choose to buy, believe it or not, does say something about where your priorities actually are in life. I hope that you guys have got a good one but Jeremy having a hissy fit about me asking just what sort of car it is just makes him look silly.

  18. A “hissy fit”? OH, Iain, you are precious.

  19. Come on fess up to the truth, after all confession is good for the soul…

    He’d also like your address, phone number, bank account details and preferred brand of scotch.

  20. WHAT HAVE WE GOT TO HIDE?!?111!1?

  21. I reckon it was one of these and, as any fan of Twilight knows how that is way cool!

  22. David Allen

    You should have bought a near new one rather than a brand new car. Cheaper, and already has its first scratch.

  23. The fuck? Because we blog that means we have to tell you what car we drive?

    You were the one chucking a hissy fit when you thought there was a chance we’d bought a hybrid and you thought we were trying to conceal it. It isn’t, and you’ve made yourself look like an idiot with the assumption, so it’s “the choice of vehicle says something about your priorities in life”

    For the record, it’s neither a “showy” car, nor any type of hybrid. And really, I don’t see how it’s relevant.

  24. David – It’s not brand new, it’s a few years old. It didn’t have a scratch on it though, so it was a little annoying.

  25. I would have thought that when you write about a new car a logical next step would be for us to ask oh what kind did you get. I dunno its just a car and personally I don’t really like them all that much but I would like to know the colour.

  26. It’s silvery green, miss p. Jeremy isn’t enamoured of the colour, but I love it.

  27. Darn it .. I was hoping for red .. though Green is good too 😛

  28. Keri,
    As Miss P suggests, when told that someone has bought a new car the next logical question is “what sort have you bought” the actual answer is is lees of an issue than Jeremy’s hissy fit that anyone would want know what sort is. My suggestion that you may have bought a hybrid or a BMW were just shots in the dark they were not assumptions at all.
    Be all mysterious if you two want, but it will just invite more speculation and perhaps even more mockery for Jeremy than he gets at present than he would have got by just being up front about what sort of new car graces your garage.

  29. Iain, you’ve proved why we didn’t say what car it was with your post. We didn’t say because it was YOU asking, and you were bound to try and make some kind of pathetic point with it, and then bleat on about how we made the information public, so it isnt your fault. So we dont, and we’re “foolish”

    Get off it, Iain. You were always going to post something on it, so why should we make it easier for you?

  30. No Keri
    I was not “always going to post about it” at all, but Jeremy over-reacting to the obvious and entirely innocuous enquiry did inspire me to to take the piss, in a rather gentle manner, of your new car purchase in a post of my own.

  31. It’s a Rolls Royce isn’t it Jeremy, what other vehicle could possibly suffice when you decide to go for a port and cigar at the Melbourne Club ? 😉

  32. It’s a Rolls-Royce hybrid bicycle with a portable fireplace for warmth/pollution.

  33. Bullshit, Iain. Not telling you information you desperately wanted to know is not “over-reacting”. You were clearly trying to find out what we drive, and Jeremy was quite right in telling you it’s none of your business. It isn’t.

    And keep guessing, Iain. You’ve been ridiculously far off the mark thus far.

  34. You forgot the portable harem to peel grapes for you and fan you in summer, Jeremy.

  35. Lol…I’m still waiting for them to bring the DeLorean a la Back to the Future out, until then it’s the boring old Commodore for me…

  36. Oh god yes. I’d buy one of those, I don’t care how impractical it is.

  37. Seriously Iain, I’m not surprised people dont want you knowing things about them.
    As Jeremy said, you do seem like a creepy old dingbat.

  38. 🙂 I wouldn’t even care what colour it was — well maybe not a mauve one.

  39. A delorean?

    Oh, lord.

  40. No wonder someone scratched it in the car park.

    I’d do the same if it wasn’t our car, you big freak.

  41. The most important part of the car is the stereo. A good stereo rewards you every time you drive. It should be the first consideration in any car purchase.

  42. I had the door ripped out of my hand and off the car by a passing truck a few weeks back.

    Now my nice, clean, straight, white, Falcon has the driver’s door off my old, retired, green, Falcon, complete with scratches and dints.

    I kind of like it though. I new I kept my old cars for a reason! (The old one survived the bushfire, so I have a sentimental attachment to it – had to fight the scrap guys to keep it!).

    Go the Green Car!

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