Not exactly a compliment

“If I could reach the stars, I’d give them all to you.”

To what end? What would I do with one unimaginably hot, astronomically huge, fusion-powered sphere of death, let alone all of them?

Why would being given the stars be a plus? They would immediately obliterate me, and everyone I care about. Hell, even from a significant distance away they’d destroy not only everyone I’d ever met, but all life on Earth – except, apparently, you, with your hypothetical ability to survive near stars long enough to collect them together and hand them to a single person.

Come to think of it, wouldn’t your wished-for scenario likely end the possibility of any life anywhere? Wherever the stars were, there would now be dark chaos. Wherever you’ve moved them, would be a matter-crushing overheated super super super super giant.

Essentially, you wish to eradicate all life in the universe.

I think I’ll decline the offer of a drink.

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One response to “Not exactly a compliment

  1. zaratoothbrush

    Jeez Jeremy, let there be lightening up!

    If all the metaphors in the world were mine, I’d probably drop them on your head right now ;-)

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