Martin “bananas” Dixon is not just about the bananas

The New Victorian Liberal Party Minister for Education (the one determined to indoctrinate your child with christianity) outlines his plans for an improved curriculum:

What I think young people need to be more aware of is bananas…

Now, I am not suggesting that you should start referring to him as Martin “bananas” Dixon or any other amusing new tag that refers to his evangelical passion for the presently rather expensive yellow fruit. I would not like to see a competition in the comments as to who could come up with the funniest and most absurd nickname for him in light of his odd remarks.


Is he thinking about bananas in this photograph? Possibly.

That’s why I put this post up. So you could definitely not do that.

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14 responses to “Martin “bananas” Dixon is not just about the bananas

  1. I haven’t got an original nickname for ‘Bananas’.

    I’m way more concerned that, as a former teacher in the Catholic system, he not only intends doing nothing about state schools being forced to use school time for Christian indoctrination if requested, but will make it easier.

  2. I should’ve included a link to my earlier post on that. Fixed.

  3. narcoticmusing

    This is 29 Acacia Road Spring Street
    And this is
    Eric Martin – the school boy who leads an amazing double life…
    For when Eric Martin eats a banana, an amazing transformation occurs…
    Eric Martin is Bananaman! Ever alert for the call to action!

  4. narcoticmusing

    sorry about typos in my h-tags… not sure what went wrong there

  5. smellyterror

    Amazing amount of sugar in bannanas, ackshilly. As in, three and a half teaspoons or so.

  6. I would have thought the name Dixon would immediately translate to Dickhead? It’s not a particularly witty nickname, but it has the benefit of accuracy.

  7. One of my stalkers has taken this post as a DELIBERATE and DIABOLICAL attempt to SMEAR Dixon by taking his words out of context. As if any reader of this blog wouldn’t have realised there was more to the quote (for example, by noticing the ellipses and, you know, the fact that the quote by itself is completely bizarre) and clicked on the link if curious.

    That’s JUST LIKE The Australian pretending that a tweet that’s in the middle of a twitter conversation has no context attached to it. JUST LIKE IT.

  8. Dixon being presented as saying something unfortunate about cylindrical objects… who’d suspect a misquote?
    Besides, you completely avoided any reference to horse porn (hello Chris Mitchell).

  9. Splatterbottom

    Lykurgus: “Besides, you completely avoided any reference to horse porn”

    It seems he is an anal vegetarian.

  10. narcoticmusing

    Jeremy, your stalkers really need to improve their critical literacy – but what hope is there with Bananaman in charge?

  11. He’s one of your boys Splatter. I figured you’d be in there supporting him. Your silence is deafening!

  12. Hilariously, the banana is one of the core fruits of the intelligent design argument. Apparently, the fact that it fits so ‘perfectly’ into the human hand and changes colour to indicate ripeness is proove positive of the existence of ‘an intelligent designer’. He wants our youngsters to be be thinking about bananas in a special way…

    In light of this and his ‘opt out’ system, I suggest Martin “The Apologist” Dixon. An added bonus is that the sort of people who vote for him will think this means he is always apolgising – a sign of weakness, you know.

  13. jordanrastrick

    I think that’s quite a sensible statement from the Education Minister (when taken in context).

    The natural question is, if Bolt et al mocked a Greens or Labor candidate for saying something similar, would that be part of the MSM conspiracy to spread mis-information about the left?

  14. Hilariously, the banana is one of the core fruits of the intelligent design argument. Apparently, the fact that it fits so ‘perfectly’ into the human hand and changes colour to indicate ripeness is proove positive of the existence of ‘an intelligent designer’. He wants our youngsters to be be thinking about bananas in a special way…
    I bet he does…
    But the thing you’re referring to WAS intelligently designed (or at least selectively bred)
    The other entendre of your particular double was not.

    I think that’s quite a sensible statement from the Education Minister (when taken in context).
    If you’re in a clique whose ability to see phalluses (phalli? phallae?) in non-cylindrical objects such as cars is legendary, there are certain choices of words that you know better than to use (things being rammed down throats for instance)

    It beats Helen Coonans “two BEAUTIFUL Red Setters” (the context being the ban on bestiality), largely because Coonan realised what she said. As for B1…

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