Accompanying their hilarious rant on videogames and other things (“reckless, nonstop dorm masturbation”, for example) that are DESTROYING OUR KIDS, is ChristWire’s expose on the dangers of kitteh ownership. (For one thing, after a few years of same you won’t be able to simply use the word “cat” any more, save with a prefix like “lol”.)
The entire thing is highly amusing (did you know that “not one of the Apostles ever owned a cat”?), but I’ll just quote their pwning of ICHC:
The sad, almost perverse domination cats hold over their owner’s lives is celebrated all over the internet. One of the worst offenders and a website surely worthy of a mental health study is icanhascheezburger.com (“I Can Haz Cheez Burger”). This has become one of the most popular destinations online, a bizarre cult of cat worship that almost seems inspired by Bastet’s debauched festivals. Much like the ancient Egyptians, people today have anthropomorphized their pets to the extreme, giving them human emotions and an offbeat and deep-throated human language that they exchange in endless pictures and comment sections. In this inexplicable fantasy world, cats are obsessed with eating freshly-grilled cheeseburgers and command their human owners to do all sorts of odd tasks around the home. The photos on this website reveal the clumsy and unclean interiors that your average cat owner inhabits: open food containers, dirty laundry, gigantic television screens, old couches everywhere.
Indeed. Or, as a lolkitteh might put it -
I just can’t believe that this sort of depravity can be so easily found on the internet, of all places.
Gold standard satire (I hope).